Meagan 0:28

Hi everyone, and welcome back to her Time to Talk. I'm Meagan Clark, owner and clinical director of Her Time Therapy, and I'm so glad that you're here with me today because we're talking about something that is surprisingly powerful for your mental health. Reading, but not the self-help books or textbooks that so many of us force ourselves to finish for work or school. I'm talking about reading for pure pleasure. We're talking romance, fantasy, dystopian adventures, the kind of books that whi away into entirely new worlds. Before we really dive in, here's your gentle spoiler warning. Today I'll be sharing some spoilers for a few popular romantic series and characters. So if you're just discovering this genre, don't worry. I'll include a full reading list in the show notes so that you can decide which series to tackle first and which to avoid spoilers on if you would like to. I wanna share also why this topic is especially close to my heart. I have noticed that when I don't make time for reading fiction, real escapist type of reading, my own mental health suffers. I feel heavier, more anxious, scattered and disconnected from myself. Reading has always been my personal sanctuary, and if you didn't know, I'm an English teacher at heart. I earned a master's and a Bachelor's degree in English and started my career as an English teacher long before I decided to become a therapist. So if anyone can bridge the world of literature and mental health, it's me. And I wanna pass that gift along to you today. So first, let's talk about why this works. So when you read fiction, especially romance and fantasy, you're not just processing words, you're stepping inside someone else's life. Into their perspective, you're feeling what they feel, fearing, what they fear, loving who they love. This is one of the safest ways to practice and build empathy, because you get to be inside the character's, mind, heart, and world without risking your own safety or reality. And studies actually prove this mental health benefit of reading. People who read fiction regularly actually score higher on measures of empathy, perspective taking, and even social connection. It actually strengthens the part of your brain that helps you put yourself in someone else's shoes and literally strengthens the pathways in our brain that help us really understand other people's perspectives and their emotions and where they're coming from. And in this way, fiction lets us safely suffer. That might sound strange, but it's true. When we watch our favorite heroines lose everything, crawl back from the edge and find new strength, we're practicing resilience in our own minds. It's like a mental dress rehearsal for surviving our own hardships. From a mental health perspective, this is priceless. These stories show us how to navigate heartbreak, betrayal, injustice. Safely from our own couch or our bedrooms. When we read a story about a heroin getting back up after life knocks her down. It plants seeds in our own minds that we can survive to take Sarah j Moss's wildly popular series, Aquar of Thorns and roses, for example. Theara, the main character fights for her family, her people, and herself over and over. Not because she's fearless, but because she has to, and also because she knows her own strength and has learned to stand in her fear and just persevere. Anyway. One of the most famous lines from this series comes from her partner and mate, Reese. And who reminds Pharaoh before she goes into a battle without him quote, remember that you were a wolf and you cannot be caged. End quote. This line isn't just romantic, it's revolutionary. Reese doesn't say it because he wants to keep FAA safe and hidden away. He would rather keep her out of danger, but he respects her strength more than his own desire to protect her. He reminds her that she's untamable powerful and free, even if that means stepping onto a battlefield, he'd rather she avoid this moment shows real partnership sometimes requires choosing your partner's freedom and power over your own fear or desires. That's what true support looks like. A partner who doesn't clip your wings but helps you fly. Now let's look at fare's, sister Nesta story, especially in of Chorus. Silver Flames is one of the most raw and relatable depictions of crawling out of darkness and shame. Nesta struggles with deep trauma, grief, self hate, and self sabotage. She isolates herself. She lashes out. She feels she deserves nothing. At one point when she's reminded of fear is love for her. She admits, I didn't deserve that love. I deserve nothing. It's gutting. And yet so human, so many women can relate to that. The idea that we're unworthy of being loved when we're messy or broken. It's why she's a character that people both love and hate. But Nesta story isn't about staying in that place. With the help of her sisters friends, and Cassie and her eventual partner and fiercest physical trainer, she chooses to rebuild herself piece by piece. And in a way, a lot of the people around her that love her helped her make that choice. And yet, at the end of the day, she had to choose to do that work herself, and they were right there to support her when she decided to step up and to go through her healing journey. Her partner, Cassian doesn't just rescue her. He trains beside her at the level that she is ready to engage In that training, he pushes her to claim her strength for herself, and when Nesta finally sees her own power, she says I am the rock against which the surf crashes. It's not just about being unbreakable, it's about being rooted, immovable, after a storm. For anyone healing from trauma, that image is pure medicine. Let's look at another beloved Moss heroine, Alene Gallius from the Throne of Glass series. A lean's story is a powerful reminder that your path is rarely straight, and that real love sometimes comes after heartbreak, betrayal, and oceans of grief and loss. In the beginning of Throne of Glass, she's not yet a Lean the queen. She is Selena Sar Donan, the kingdom's most feared, assassin and in the beginning of the series, enslaved in salt mines. In this one of her darkest and most powerless moments. Selena's first line of defense is a sword. It's actually her belief and her own identity. Over and over, she whispers to herself. My name is Selena Sar, and I will not be afraid. It's a tiny mantra of power. The act of naming herself becomes her shield, even when everything else is taken away For so many women, that's what survival looks like. Holding onto your name, your truth, your identity, when the world tries to strip it from you and tell you who you should be and what you deserve and later as she steps deeply into who she truly is. Elaine Gallius, the rightful queen of Tarin. We see how much she grows. One of the most unforgettable lines comes not from Alene herself, but from Elena, her ancient friend and mentor who plants seeds that stays with Alene through her whole journey. Elena says, quote, you could rattle the stars. You could do anything if only you dared. And deep down you know it too, and that's what scares you the most. This line sticks with us as readers because it reveals what so many of us fear. Not failure, but the vast, terrifying power of our own potential. And when Alene finally claims that power fully and without apology, she embodies pure fire. She was fire and light and ash and embers, and she bowed for no one. Unlike so many rom-com tropes where the first boyfriend magically becomes your forever soulmate, ali's true love appears after heartbreak from other partners, after loss of her parents and her friends after she shed false skins. And after she's grown strong enough to stand alone in her Her journey shows us that love is not meant to complete you or to save you. To meet you at your highest self, accepting of all your strengths and weaknesses. These stories aren't only about personal demons. They help us face systemic ones too. Romantic heroines don't just fight monsters. They fight corrupt leaders, oppressive kingdoms, entire systems designed to break them. Take fourth wing by Rebecca Yaros. Yaros has spoken about how growing up in the South, seeing firsthand how segregation erase the histories of entire communities directly inspired the stories deeper message in her words. Fourth wing asks, what happens when you only learn history from the oppressor's side? What happens when entire truths are buried? Fourth wing, the heroine violet, soaring gal must survive brutal trials, uncover hidden history and fight systems built on lies. It's an electrifying story of dragons, politics, secrets and rebellion, but it's also quietly revolutionary in another way, the way it centers on disability and accommodation. Violet is not the typical indestructible fantasy heroin. Like you would find potentially in Sarah j Moss's series. Instead, violet lives with a significant physical limitation, fragile joints, frequent dislocations, and a body that makes her more vulnerable than nearly anyone else training to be a dragon rider in a world where only the strongest survive, her condition should have excluded her completely. she could easily have been cast aside by a society that demands physical perfection. But instead someone in power chooses to see her potential, not just her limitations. A person in power provides violet with an adapted saddle. An accommodation so she can ride safely. Despite her small stature and joint issues, that one compassionate choice unlocks her future. She goes on to become one of the strongest dragon writers of the mall, proving that the real weakness in any society is not its disabled members. It's the refusal to accommodate them. This is a bold, beautiful statement about disability access and inclusion. It shows us that making space for people's needs doesn't make them weaker. It helps them show their true strength. And I'll be honest, this part of Violet's story really hit me on a personal level. As a young woman, I struggled with knee dislocations and joint issues for years. So much so that I ended up being the youngest person I know to have needed a knee replacement. There were so many times in my life where these limitations made me feel less than or excluded me from physical activities that I wished I could have joined in on. Seeing a beloved main character struggle with the same kind of physical challenges and injuries that have held me back and not just see that character survive, but thrive with the right support meant so much to me. It really made me feel seen. It reminded me that needing help or adaptations doesn't make me weak. It makes me human, and that's the true power of literature. It reflects our hidden battles back to us, helping us to rewrite how we see ourselves in fourth wing pilot's. Physical struggle is also woven into a bigger fight for truth and justice, a powerful reminder that no one should be left behind because their body works differently. The world is better when we build ramps and bridges for each other, whether that's a literal saddle or simply choosing to see someone's potential. So what makes these heroines different from the old stories that we grew up with? Well, traditionally, the hero's journey is about a lone man who leaves home slaves, monsters wins glory and returns crowned in victory. These old myths were about power over others. Triumph was external land one enemies vanquished. But the modern feminine hero's journey actually flips this entire script on its head. Today's heroines, Farrah Nesta, Bryce, and Alene from Sarah Moss books. Violet from Fourth Wing or even Poppy from Jennifer Armand Trouts from Blood and Ash series don't begin as conquerors. They don't even dream of being conquerors or having power. They begin as caretakers, peacemakers, and self sacrifices. They are textbook examples of what we call human giver syndrome, a concept we broke down in detail in one of our earlier episodes, so please go back and check that out if you haven't listened yet. These heroines give and give until there's nothing left of them. They bend, they break, they silence themselves to keep others safe, fed, and comfortable. And then they crack open. They rage, they run, they fight. They enter a dark night of the soul where they learn a brutal truth. Living for everyone else doesn't save you. It drains you dry and it leaves you miserable. Through that darkness, betrayal, heartbreak, and sacrifice, they end up rebuilding themselves. They choose themselves. They don't stay in places that bleed them dry or with people that bleed them dry. They find or create communities that give back as much as they take. They find love that meets them as equals, not as saviors or dames in distress. It's why lines like, don't let the hard days win, or recent's famous toast to the stars who listen and the dreams that are answered hit us so deeply. They remind us that you are allowed to want, you're allowed to hope. You're allowed to dream bigger and to demand more. And that brings us to something powerful that many people don't wanna talk about. Pleasure. These books don't just heal us. They teach us and they train us. They remind us that women's pleasure is also valid, that wanting more in life, in love and in bed is not selfish. And these stories, a women's desire is not just allowed, it's celebrated, protected, and even fought for. One of the reasons that romantic books get brushed off so easily, especially by men, is precisely because they center on women's desires, dreams, and even yes, physical pleasure. They weave it right into the main storyline, the spice, the tension, the romance. It's not extra fluff, it's the point, and that terrifies some people. In a world that still tries to police women's bodies and shame our sexuality, these books break all the rules. They say, your body belongs to you. Your pleasure matters. And that flips the traditional power dynamic on its head. Sometimes you'll hear these books dismissed as being just smut, but the truth is, for so many readers, this is the first safe place they've ever had to explore what they actually want. These pages create space for women to imagine what it would feel like for their partner to prioritize their pleasure, not just once, but always, and for partners, especially male partners out there who want to learn to love better. Well, these books are basically a free manual, a blueprint for how to understand women, how to honor and ask for consent, how to build trust, and how to actually listen. Want to know what your partner really wants? Read the scenes that she's dogeared and underlined. So when someone rolls their eyes at the spice in romantic books, remember, it's never just smu. It's power, it's possibility, and it's healing. And here's the beautiful thing. Pleasure on the page. Also brings peace to the mind. Reading fiction, especially something immersive like fantasy romance, quiets the constant noise of the outside world, and there's a lot of that right now. The news cycle, political tension, climate worries, family and career stress. It all pauses for a moment. When you crack open that book and you enter a different world, your brain can focus on one thing and you can just breathe. For women who juggle work, kids caregiving, and everything that goes into that invisible mental and emotional load that we carry. That kind of break is really sacred. Studies show that reading for just six minutes a day can lower your stress by up to 68%. It can happen that fast. So imagine what would happen if you gave yourself 30 minutes a day or an hour to just sit and read. It slows your heart rate, it eases your muscle tension, and it helps you to sleep better. if you happen to be neurodivergent and live with a DHD or live with anxiety, that same immersion can also quiet racing thoughts in a way that few other activities really can. And that is why I always say that reading fiction in particular isn't a frivolous activity. It's self-care, it's therapy. And it's time you claim for yourself, that is radical in a world that constantly asks you to give that time away for the benefit of other people. the next time someone rolls their eyes at your love for fantasy romance, that quiet secret obsession that fills your evenings and whispers to you in moments of overwhelm. Just smile. Know this. You are actually doing something powerful, revolutionary, even. You're not just escaping into a story. You are building resilience. You're practicing how to face hardship through characters who stumble, fall, and rise again, stronger than before. You're cultivating empathy by walking in the shoes of heroes and heroines who come from worlds vastly different than your own. You're learning to see the full spectrum of human experience from pain, joy, love, betrayal, and triumph Through reading, you're exploring your own desires, not as something to be hidden nor ashamed of, but as a vital, authentic part of who you are. These stories give you permission to understand your own sexuality and how it evolves over time. To really pay attention to your own needs, your own dreams, and to claim them boldly and without apology. perhaps most profoundly, you're learning what real love and partnership can look like. Not the fairytale happily ever after, forced into a mold, but a deep, reciprocal connection or respect, vulnerability and equality thrive where your pleasure matters just as much as anyone else's. Where you are seen, heard, and cherished for your whole complex self. All of this is exactly why some people want to ban these books because they are powerful, because they give women ideas that some call dangerous ideas about autonomy, pleasure, resistance, and self-worth, that shake the foundations of outdated expectations. These ideas are life changing. They're a beautiful form of resistance and one of the most effective mental health strategies that women can employ for themselves. In a world that often demands, we shrink ourselves, quiet, our wants and sacrifice endlessly. Embracing time to be in these stories is an act of self-care, courage, and defiance. You are rewriting the narrative for yourself and for all the women who come after you. So hold your books close. Let yourself get lost in the fire and the magic. Know that in every page turned, you're not just reading, you're growing, healing, and empowering yourself in ways that ripple far beyond the page. You're rewriting your own story by entering the stories of others, and that's the true magic of reading. If you would like personalized book recommendations or want to talk about how these lessons tie into your own healing journey, reach out anytime at info@hertimetherapy.com or visit our website at her time therapy. Until next time, keep reading. Keep dreaming and remember your story matters and you are the author of your own life.