Speaker 4: 0:04

Welcome to her time to Talk. I'm Megan Clark, a licensed professional counselor and the founder of Her Time Therapy, a group practice dedicated to supporting women's mental health. This podcast is for women by women, and is all about creating a safe place for our experiences, amplifying our voices, and empowering each other with the knowledge to improve our mental health.

Speaker: 0:28

Today we are talking about how the holidays can be a time of joy and connection, but they can also bring up a lot of challenges, especially when it comes to body image, eating habits, and emotional overwhelm from so many things on our to-do list. today we're joined by Chloe St. Pierre. She's one of our amazing therapists and has a unique background in eating disorders, trauma-focused care, and somatic therapy. We're gonna explore with how you can work with your body to navigate the challenges of the holidays and some of those triggers with more ease and self-compassion. So welcome, Chloe. Thank you so much for being here with us today. Can you share a little bit more about your background as a therapist and what drew you to specialize in these things like trauma and somatic work and eating disorders?

Speaker 2: 1:14

So I started my career with mental health. When I was in college. I started working at a domestic violence shelter as a shelter advocate, I also interned and worked at a sexual assault crisis counseling center and was able to do internships there throughout graduate school. So I was able to see a lot firsthand, of what that looked like for women and became very passionate about that and ended up going to grad school for counseling and knew I wanted to work with eating disorders. That was another big thing that predominantly women and queer folks experience a lot of challenges with. And I was able to work in a treatment center for my first year out of grad school and got a wealth of information there. since then have continued to expand my focus on trauma through doing a lot of somatic experiencing trainings. And I've been working towards that, certificate and then EMDR trainings.

Speaker: 2:12

You have such a wealth of experience and knowledge to bring to the table I think it's interesting how those of us who lean into this area of women's issues and women's mental health, can't be a specialist in just one thing because women are so complex and we have so many overlapping. Things going on we live in a world that's not built for us to work well with us. So we always have things like grief and trauma come up, but we also have body image issues and these unrealistic standards that we sometimes drown in

Speaker 2: 2:40

Women's mental health is just so incredibly complex. we face a lot of challenges in our current society and it makes a lot of sense seeing how all of them impact and compound.

Speaker: 2:51

Absolutely. And it's so critical for women who are needing help to understand how to find someone that is not just gonna silo any one of their issues into one area.'cause it's all connected. Mm-hmm. and I think the holidays are a really good time of the year to lean into that and see how. Multiple things tend to come up when we're under a lot of stress and extra things during the season. I'm curious, when you think of the holidays, maybe starting with Halloween, these tend to be challenging times for people struggling particularly with eating disorders, body image, identity. Why do you think that is? what is it about this time of year that heightens these things?

Speaker 2: 3:26

so many things and the first that popped to mind. Was the family aspect of it all. From my experience, a lot of people find the origins of dysregulation within their family systems hometowns or in situations that bring up a lot of past experiences. I think sometimes just being in those environments can be very triggering. we also have the obvious element of food is such a central thing when it comes to many of these major holidays that are coming up and trying or hoping to enjoy food, but also not really being able to, the fear of weight gain that even our culture talks about and workout classes might be throwing out of like earn your Thanksgiving meal. Stuff like that, earn that Halloween candy, is incredibly triggering. Halloween, I know a lot of people, if you enjoy celebrating the holiday, which I know I certainly do, like picking out a costume and knowing that you're getting pictures taken there's a lot that comes up and a lot that compounds that just makes it overwhelming when things are overwhelming and you're already struggling with disordered eating, it's really easy for all of that to be turned inward and taken out. On yourself.

Speaker: 4:36

It's interesting when we put the comparison between, well, we are supposed to enjoy the holidays. It's supposed to be this fun, joyous time where we can go out with our friends and go to holiday parties and Thanksgiving dinner with our family. It's meant to be a time of joy and connection, but we're having to grapple with the overwhelm of. Fitting into that sexy Halloween costume, but not eating any of the candy surrounding you or, dressing up for that holiday party at work, but also enjoying Thanksgiving dinner with your family. how are we possibly supposed to navigate both of those things?

Speaker 2: 5:09

it puts so much pressure on you to, Not be in the middle. It feels, like such a dichotomy of all the things you have to think about and, all of the restriction while also taking up space and experiencing joy. It's really hard to do that. It's really hard to be Restrictive and joyful.

Speaker: 5:26

In my work I see a lot of women tapping out entirely. Like I just can't be enough in all of these spaces. I can't restrict enough while showing up enough. women already have so much of the mental load of making the holidays happen, be put on their shoulders, that it's either we tap out and feel a lot of shame around that. Or I see the other extreme happening where women go into this Hyperactive and overly productive mode that totally exhausts them.

Speaker 2: 5:54

Yeah, absolutely. Women are the backbone of holidays. Typically the ones who are gathering the families together, doing the cooking, doing the planning, all of these responsibilities showing up at their kids' schools and helping with those extracurriculars Surrounding the holidays. And that's so much pressure. And then to add, obviously The element of appearance and how you're looking and then your day-to-day life and everything else, it's way too much for one person to handle It makes sense that we'd be going into overdrive or going into a complete shutdown.

Speaker: 6:28

I think what we're here to say is ladies, for those of you listening and finding yourself in one of those buckets, you are not crazy. And this is a totally healthy, normal response to all of this happening at once. when you take a moment to really think about what's happening here and why am I actually feeling this way, it's not crazy. It makes so much sense. It's actually a healthy nervous system response to be pushed into these extremes of shutdown or hyperactivity

Speaker 3: 6:54

Yeah,

Speaker 2: 6:55

absolutely.

Speaker: 6:56

Yeah. It's a very,

Speaker 2: 6:57

very coherent, response to a very chaotic time.

Speaker: 7:01

So as a somatic therapist, you focus a lot on tuning into the body and working with it instead of working against it. So how can people that are. Feeling this and really in the struggle bus part of the holidays rather than in the enjoyment space, how can they tune into their body as a way to help manage the chaos and the overwhelm?

Speaker 2: 7:23

Well first I would name if. Tuning into your body is a difficult thing. I think we also get to find a lot of safety outside of it while still connecting with our body and our nervous system. one thing that I always like to recommend especially as I'm first starting to work with clients and not always sure where their capacity is. Is how we can start finding resources outside of ourselves. even now, I'm looking around the room and I'm just finding things that feel comforting and supported to look at and connect with for a moment. taking moments away, pausing and being able to tap into things that feel good, but maybe even just neutral or maybe even just less bad if that's where we're at. And then, from there, if you do wanna tap into your body a little bit more, focusing or trying to. Attune your attention to things that feel good, feel comforting, feel joyful, or acts of pleasure, whether it's through food music, or the clothing that you're wearing and supporting your body's comfort. Obviously a big supporter of things that aren't. Very intentionally grounding, like connecting feet to the floor, back to your chair, and things that allow you to feel supported. those things that feel supportive are gonna be really important, especially for those of us who are running around and taking on a lot of extra responsibility around this time. I know that it can be really hard for a lot of women to prioritize, their comfort and, feeling that support and stability, but I think those things can be really helpful. if the people around you especially aren't feeling super supportive, what are ways that your environment and you can lean into some support?

Speaker: 9:00

That's such important advice and with us carrying so much of the mental load and taking care of everything and everyone, I think it's hard for women to take the time to slow down. Take a deep breath and even do a body scan and notice what's coming up for them. I think, that's why we called our practice her time. we need that time to actually slow down, take time for yourself and figure out what you need and what needs to come next. if someone is really feeling overwhelmed and just the chaos of the holiday season, what is one thing that they can do in that moment of overwhelm if they notice it? Two, just tune into the body. How do they do that?

Speaker 2: 9:37

If you are not able to connect with your body or you notice like, man, I don't even know what's going on, and I'm feeling really, really in my head, I like to take those moments to connect with something physical. connecting with the floor or even. When I'm driving, I know a lot of us tend to have some type of dissociation when we're driving, like on the way to the store or home I notice the connection between my foot and the bottom of the floor, my legs and my seat. Maybe taking a deep breath or being really intentional about when I get out of the car, I'm just gonna pause for two seconds and connect for a second. We don't necessarily need to connect to all of the chaos that we're feeling. If you're like, that's too much or I can't handle that, or I don't want to, but maybe holding onto something stable, like anything that's in the environment and feeling into it for a bit, I would definitely encourage. Slowing things down whenever you can. that doesn't have to be oh yeah, I'm just gonna take everything off my schedule and, really just slow everything down. But it could be two slow breaths taking a pause before you answer a question. a little bit extra longer time to wash your hands. it can be those small things that give your nervous system a bit more capacity to handle all of the chaos that's coming in.

Speaker: 10:53

those are such good tangible suggestions we hear a lot from women that. we can't slow down. We can't stop doing all the things because if we don't take care of it, no one will and the world will fall apart, which in some cases is logically the case. So we keep spinning even from a place of exhaustion. But we're not telling you that you have to completely clear your schedule or go into shutdown mode. You take an extra 30 seconds to wash your hands and notice. Warm water and what it feels like It can just be noticing what your feet feel like on the gas pedal, on the floor in your car as you're driving It doesn't have to be these really big moments or interventions. It can be a lot of smaller ones. Sprinkle throughout your day.

Speaker 2: 11:36

Yeah, absolutely. I think that makes it a lot more. Manageable. especially for those of us who struggle to make time for ourselves, a lot of us can part with an extra three to 30 seconds or something. I think things like that feel a lot easier than diving into meditation or a yoga practice or something else that might connect you to your body.

Speaker: 11:57

Yeah, and those are great. We always love those things, but we understand you can't fit that in every time you need it, and you gotta have some kind of smaller. Things in your toolkit to bring in during those spaces too. I'm wondering what you would say for women that are maybe in the opposite boat of like, I am hyper aware of what's happening in my body and I am feeling the tightness in my shoulders and the nausea in my stomach and the weight on my chest, because of everything that I'm having to handle during the season. What kind of recommendation or somatic tips can you give for that?

Speaker 2: 12:30

one thing that I heard in one of my most recent trainings was what doesn't complete repeats? And a lot of people who are struggling with mental health in general is that the body is giving us a lot of cues like tightness in chest and shoulders, tightness in our throat heaviness and we try and ignore those a lot of the time. Or it's like, oh, I notice this and I hate it and I hate it. And it's like white knuckling it. If you have the capacity to spend just. Literally sometimes a minute, making some kind of contact. Like I know my throat always gets really tight when I'm anxious, and so I'll make just like light contact and I'll be with it for a moment because ultimately it's gonna pass and then it's not gonna linger as much. Or you get a break and it comes back and we spend a little bit more time with it. recommend being with it in whatever capacity you can. But if it feels like too much and we wanna tune in, we don't have to Try to aim to feel all of it in that moment. One thing that I like to do is, can you feel the edge of that sensation? do you know where it starts and where it stops in your body? And can you hang out with the stopping point or the starting point? Can we maybe externalize it in a few ways Maybe associating is there a color that the sensation has and can we think about the color maybe as opposed to the sensation as strongly. Ultimately, I think being with it is what's gonna support it in its resolution. But if we're not able to fully be with it, that's okay. A lot of us can't, and so there are small ways that we can give those emotions, time and attention.

Speaker: 14:00

That's a great way to process what's happening in the moment instead of just pushing it to the side or ignoring it women's pain often is Taught to be a part of life. And if it's acknowledged at all, oftentimes we are gaslit to have our pain and our distress not taken seriously. sometimes I think we do it to ourselves like, oh yeah, I might be feeling that, but I don't have time for it, so let's just push it away. I shouldn't be feeling that it should be a joyous time'cause I like Halloween. it's the holidays, we should be feeling joy, so we push those feelings aside. I love what you shared About taking a moment to notice where it's at, maybe put your hand to it, breathe into it. Notice the color where it starts and stops. that is really tangible for anyone to do.

Speaker 2: 14:42

another thing I like doing in some ways I think this draws from some of that internal family systems parts work, but I always like to acknowledge I see you, I hear you, I feel you. talking to this emotion and this experience and acknowledging yeah, I get that you're here. a lot of times that continuous self denial of feeling. it's really easy to have that happen and can also kind of compound on the overall emotion and experience.

Speaker: 15:08

Yeah, something I like to share with my clients is that when you have some kind of emotion, whether it's overwhelm or stress it tends to be like a fire that is started by something. There is some kind of catalyst that starts an emotional reaction, and that initial emotion is really valid. Suffering tends to come in when we throw logs on that fire and keep it burning. when we push away those, physical sensations that associate emotions, it is like adding logs to the fire because if we ignore it, it builds and grows louder until we have to listen to it. So if we take a moment and name it, tell it, Hey, I feel you. I see that you're there. And even though I can't deal with it right now, I see it. Yeah, you're at least giving that initial fire a little bit of time to burn out naturally without feeding it. Yeah, maybe that's the key to enjoying the holidays, give the overwhelm and chaos a little space to be heard, and that'll open up that window to feel the joy and fun parts of it.

Speaker 3: 16:07

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 16:09

our capacity to feel discomfort ends up mirroring our capacity to feel the positive emotions that we like to feel. We don't get to choose what we are suppressing whenever we suppress something. Our body just knows we're getting rid of emotions. When we feel some of that discomfort, we also get to feel that joy too. we're supposed to swing back and forth between emotions like that.

Speaker: 16:32

Well, I know we could go on because you have so much expertise to share, but just to wrap things up today, I'm wondering if you can share something that you're personally looking forward to with the holidays coming up, something that has allowed you to feel the joy, in it, even though maybe there's a lot of other feelings you've had to acknowledge alongside that.

Speaker 2: 16:51

I'm really looking forward to the weather. I love when the weather gets a little cooler. I recently moved and I live like three minutes away from my only nephew, and he is eight, almost nine. this will be the first holiday as an adult that I get to spend with a child. doing all of those fun traditions with him is something that I'm really, really looking forward to. Oh, that's great.

Speaker: 17:14

thank you for being with us, Chloe. I'm sure people, after hearing some of these great tips that you were able to give, would like to work with you. Can you share a little bit about how to get in contact with you?

Speaker 2: 17:24

If you're feeling triggered or overwhelmed this holiday season, you don't have to navigate it alone. I am currently accepting new clients, and I'd love to support you in creating a plan that feels safe and empowering. And you can book a free consultation with me@hertimetherapy.com. And don't forget to check out our blog for more tips on avoiding eating disorder triggers and reconnecting with your body. It's full of actionable advice to help you feel more grounded.

17:47

If you're feeling empowered by today's episode, be sure to subscribe and leave us a review. You can also follow us on social media at her time to talk for more updates and tips. And if you'd like to support the show, consider becoming a patron. If you're ready to take the next step in your mental health journey, visit her time therapy.com and schedule a free consultation with one of our therapists. Thank you for taking the time to talk today. Remember, your story matters. Your voice is powerful, and your mental health is worth prioritizing. Until next time, take care of yourself. This is your time. The information shared on this podcast is not intended to be personal mental health advice, and listening to this podcast does not create a therapeutic relationship between the listener and the therapist featured on this podcast. We encourage listeners to engage with a licensed therapist for personalized mental health treatment and advice.